School FAQ’s
Parents often have concerns regarding homework and success in school. Read below for some commonly asked questions that parents have.
Homework struggles
Q: HOMEWORK! I know we are in the second half of the year, but we still fight about it every night. What can I do?
A: Stop fighting about it. The ownership of homework must fall on your children. When a parent becomes overly involved with homework the fighting continues. It is a power struggle, and the parent will never win. Instead of arguing over it make some rules. The following are some things to consider:
Have your children do their homework right after school. Tell them when their homework is complete they are free to do as they please. If they continue to complain there is no reason to fight over it -- the rule is established.
If you are a working parent tell your children they can do their homework right after school or wait until you get home. Once you are home tell them they can not participate in any activities (TV, computers, games) until their homework is done. If they continue to complain simply remind them the rule has been established.
Not knowing if your children have homework because they did not bring home their assignment notebooks is another situation calling for a different consequence. If completed assignment books are not brought home, no extra activities will be allowed that evening. If you stick to this consequence your children will soon bring home their assignment notebooks.
If your children tell you that they are turning in work and they are not, you should talk to their teachers. You may want to have teachers sign the assignment notebook each day or set up another plan that entails sending you a note each week telling you what assignments are missing. The natural consequence for this would be that your children have to do their homework instead of participating in other activities.
If you take away the “fight” and put in natural consequences you will see success. Be consistent with consequences or your children learn quickly that some days they can get away with not doing their homework.
Finally, make sure your children understand the consequences of homework. That way you can all work together towards success.
How much is too much homework?
Question: How much homework is too much? My child spends hours doing their homework.
A: Every child is different so this is a hard question to answer. There are some questions that you need to ask yourself to help you decide how your child is doing.
Are they focused when they are doing their homework? If not, you might want to create a setting that allows them to focus. Sometimes all the pauses and interruptions create a lot of extra homework time.
Does the child want your help, but really does not need your help. Are they manipulating you to help them more than they really need? If so, you need to put the focus back on them, and away from you.
Is the work too hard? If so, you will need to have a conference with the teacher.
Give your child a reasonable time period to get their homework done. Some kids work better when they are told how much time they need. If the time period seems too long for what they are doing you may want to talk with the teacher. The work may be too hard.
Put the reward at the end. What this means is have your child do their homework before their TV time, play time, screen time. This gives them some motivation to get the work done.
Avoiding the homework battle
Q: School has started and I do not want another one like last year. Homework was a constant struggle. From the minute my child came home until she went to bed, we were fighting. Please give me some suggestions so this year is better.
A: Homework! It seems to be an age-old issue for parents. My advice to parents is to create a consistent pattern, or schedule, for children. Without a pattern, homework becomes an issue. It can be more difficult with older children, but with consistent rules, fair consequences, and lack of emotion on the parents’ part, the homework battle can be won.
Step 1: Determine a homework time that can be “fairly” consistent. I say fairly because no family has a schedule that can not allow for some variations. I advocate for doing homework immediately when students get home. Natural consequences are easier to implement this way.
Step 2: Clearly state the expectations. “Your homework must be completed before you can” . . . watch TV, go outside, go to your room, etc. If you are not home after school, tell your children their work must be complete before they do any other activities. If it is not, they will not be able to do anything for the rest of the evening.
Step 3: Don’t nag. Allow children to do their homework and let them know you are available if they need help. If they are angry about doing their homework let them vent. Don’t battle. Instead, repeat “When you are done with your homework you can . . .”
Step 4: Don’t let them stay up past their bedtime. Instead, simply put their homework away and have them go to school with it incomplete the next day. If it gets to this point it is important to let the teacher know what is happening at home. This way the teacher can reinforce expectations and have consequences at school such as no recess.
The biggest mistake is to turn homework into a parent issue. Children will work the system. It is important for them to be responsible for homework. The parent’s job is to create the guidelines and support children’s needs.
A new start to a new school year
Q: Another school year is here and I am excited for the new start. I am looking for reminders and tips to start it off right.
A: I am going to list a few that work great if you use them consistently.
Homework is done before anything else. It takes priority over playing, TV, sports, etc.
Establish patterns so that your children know what to expect. Curfews, bedtimes, chores and homework times are all things to consider.
Make your expectations clear to your children from the start. This includes grades, social activities, sports etc. You all want to be on the same page.
Create a calendar so that everything is mapped out. The beginning of the year is always crazy with activities, open houses, meetings etc.
Start looking at your child’s assignment notebook right away (elementary and middle school) so that you stay on top of what is going on.
Check GradeCheck/Infinite Campus consistently.
Don’t wait to talk with teachers if you are concerned about anything. The beginning of the year is the best time to get things running smoothly.
Buckle in and get ready because the school year will fly by.
How can I motivate my child?
Q: My child is really hard to motivate. He is almost “lazy”. I make him do his homework and it is a constant struggle. What can I do?
A: Motivating a child is one of the hardest things to do. Ideally, children need to be internally motivated. What this means is that they motivate themselves and do not need external reinforcements. With younger kids this is a skill that needs to be taught. Some ways that this can be done are the following:
Clearly communicate your expectations. Make sure your child knows that schooling is important and that you take it seriously
Make sure all homework is completed before your child has free time. This encourages them to complete their homework and gives them something to look forward to
Stay in contact with your child’s teacher so that you can help monitor their progress
Help your child connect what they are learning with something they are interested in
Let your child know that school is not always fun, but it is something they must do. Sometimes children think that if it is not “fun” they just won’t do it. School is their work just like adults have their work
Reinforce good work from your child. Tell them how proud you are, hang their work, frame their art work, share their successes with family members
Participate in their school activities. Helping out at school allows them to see that you are part of the school as well
Starting early with these types of activities will create a pattern which will help for the rest of their life.